Overwhelmed

I am completely overwhelmed. In the good way and in the bad way. Is that possible?

This time of the year is so crazy for me. Last weekend I was busy with Run for a Child. This weekend I'm leaving for NY for work until the following Thursday. The Saturday after I get back is Payton's birthday party at the house. The weekend after Payton's party is Benjamin's party. The weekend after Benjamin's party is Eli's party. Not to mention my sister's, husband's and brother's birthdays are somewhere in between there! I hate scrambling. I hate feeling like I get nothing accomplished. I really hate being away from my family for four nights and I hate even more missing church in order to get to a MEETING in NYC by 1:00 - ON A SUNDAY! I have piles of laundry that need to be folded and more piles that need to be put away and even more piles that need to be washed! I feel like I don't ever do anything well and that is really irritating. And when I get irritated I get impatient which means that I take it out on my poor children and husband. I got visibly irritated with Benjamin the other evening for asking me to get him a glass of chocolate milk; and when he saw my reaction he said, "Are you just doing your best, mama?" I wanted to cry because I made him feel bad for asking my help on something that he can't do alone; and I also wanted to cry because he could see that I was doing my best on a day when I knew nobody thought I was doing all I could do.

I am overwhelmed in a good way because I know that our Heavenly Father can see that we are doing our best even when we think no one else does. He knows our hearts and our desires and no matter how bad or good the day has been He has been there with us! I am overwhelmed at the grace that He shows me each day when I get to pick up my sweet, healthy and happy boys from pre-school even after I complain about doing their laundry, cleaning their rooms and getting their chocolate milk. He has blessed me with the house that I clean, the food that I cook and the family that I love so much it hurts. You see I only have to give my time and my energy each day, but God had to give his Son! He had to watch his sweet, healthy and happy boy be beaten, spat upon, flogged and ultimately hung on a cross so that we might complain and ask why but also so that we would be forgiven. It's overwhelming to me that He loved me so much that He would do that!

Sometimes being overwhelmed is a good thing - no wait being overwhelmed is a great thing when you realize that you are overwhelmed because of all of the "stuff" you've been given. So I will be happy that I am leaving on Sunday for NYC because leaving means that I have a healthy family at home and a job that respects me enough to want me at this meeting. I will be happy that I have three birthday parties to throw in three weekends because that means I have three children who have lived another year and have friends with which they can celebrate.

Thank you, Father, for your blessings and for every bit of the "stuff" that you've given me. I am overwhlemed by You.